Finding Joy in Pain

2 text messages came through my phone screen.

‘What pain do i want in life?’

‘What am i willing to struggle for?’

Well. From a friend. He said he has no answer.

‘The pain of missing out most family time, the loneliness as an expat, the wait for the right person, the muscle soreness to stay healthy, the time devoted to keep abreast of knowledge , the delayed gratification to financial freedom.’

He immediately retorted, ‘you found the right person long ago.’

‘This is the answer for you.’

‘Sounds legit.’

‘Of course. I think of it from your perspective.’

Most of the above resonate well with me in fact. 

The good thing is pain can be addictive and rewarding, see how far we can go to devour spiciness ‘level 10’ ramen, the extra Chili flakes on pizza, the muscle fibers breakdown form a marathon, a seemingly horrible cupping session or Thai massage but yet we enjoyed every bit of these tortures.

In a life context, small pain now in exchange for big pain in the future is probably the right way to think. Hence making the small pain now not too much of a pain.

If each of us has to endure a certain level of pain and struggles, wouldn’t it be better if you suffer 1% of pain each day for a better tomorrow. Learning to take in bite-sized pain gracefully, you stand a chance in mitigating big pain in the future. 

How about you be more mindful in your meal and fight off your cravings—cutting down junk food, sweet food and beverages instead of needing to worry what slimming pill to swallow? 

How about you turn down a drinking session, save up more and live below your means in exchange for a good compounded investment to fund your retirement instead of working your ass off in your 70s to pay for mortgage?

How about you exercise once a week to keep your muscle flexible and mind fresh in exchange for a stronger body instead of getting a stiffened vessel in your carotid artery and get a stroke?

Isn’t that sounds more feasible? Who wants a huge lump-sum pay off of pain.

But the secret sauce is that we must learn to find joy in pain. Joy will burn out the pain.

Joy in eating expiring fruits for example is in finding Cara Cara Orange.

Joy in waking up in the morning to run is in finding a fragrant mango and bring it home.

Joy in working 12 hours a day is in finding your patient well and getting better.

Simple as that.

Yes. No one wants pain and struggles but most will overlook the readiness and their abilities to find joy within pain. Only if they realise, that it is not that hard actually.. that unexpected good stuffs can be (or may be) found in the process, diverting you to happy surprise amidst pain.

Pain is not a limiting factor hence. We as the smartest earthlings so far are smart enough to take on the right amount of pain we can endure. 

Was talking to a friend lately and he told me he has finally resigned from his 8-5 government job. He worked in Sarawak, a rural area, away from family, a lot of struggles; not an ideal job but he has endured for few years. Most would want to continue staying in the government, in the comfort zone, but he took a leap of faith of quitting anyway. I am happy for him. I encouraged him to join the Sg workforce and gave him a few good reasons. He hesitated a lot— for the pain and struggles he imagined and the future he envisioned (he would eventually return to home country one day he said). Sometimes the biggest pain in life is not to a take on a risk. However, we must also look within to check on our value system and to carefully weight if the pain we are going to take is aligned with our goals. Pain worthy for me might not be worthy for my friend.

You may bite off more than you can chew, but most people certainly wouldn’t choke themselves to death. Accident is an exception anyway.

Pick the pain of your choice, buckle up and look for joy from within. You will be surprised that it may not be that hard at all.  The keyword is, anyway, the pain that ‘you want’ and ‘you’re willing to take on’.  Does it worth the pain?