Quiet Life in Noisy World

Remember I said I'm shifting to be more introverted as I grow? Recently, I found some consolation and relief from a book.

An introvert but not shy.Said the book.

While people prefer chatter and laughter, i secretly despised superficial talk.Yes. I'm always looking into deep meaningful conversation.Rather than having noisy group chats that everyone wants to shout out their own voice, I'm looking forward to that soft inner voice inside your brain. But who on Earth in this noisy world is willing to open up his/her heart to you even when you're ready to offer yours?

But that doesn't mean I hate random small talks.

I love talks that replenish me rather than drained me out. Conversation that drenched me up made me feel like channeling  ounces of my energy out, leaving me emptied and hollow. I accidentally met a skillful old dentist who did closure adjustment for my teeth and he, a wisdom man engaged me a lot of thoughtful conversation. We spent a long time talking to each other after the dental appointment. Though weekend is meant for shopping, hanging out I felt so good to talk to him because that was mindfulness.

I think I'm weird. I feel I'm isolated. I feel I'm isolating myself from people.

I'm glad that this book finally made its way to me. It lied quietly on the shelf and I spotted it  like discovering a new land. And it filled me up.Now that I knew it is introvert's nature that we prefer more 'alone' time than mingling with the crowds. It seem we need loads of energy and efforts to socialize compared to extrovert. I'm not sure why. But that's exactly how I feel.

But that doesn't mean I enjoy loneliness.

I love engaging in conversation though. But a full day of social activities required tones of energy from me and that's the reason I barely joined events or society that required me to work in a team. I'm capable to act like an extrovert--friendly, talkative, sociable but that demands a whole lot of efforts.

I guess that's the reason I keep running home.

I need a peaceful, undisturbed weekend which I can sit quietly the whole evening, doing mindless job, playing mindless game. Just me alone or just me alone with TV or just me alone with some interesting reading materials. Yet I'm grateful, as I can always have some mindfulness talk with xt that I feel I'm being replenished, that I'm being understood, that I can spent an evening with him without talking much.

Now I understand that ''You’re not shy; rather, you appreciate the joys of quiet. You’re not antisocial; instead, you enjoy recharging through time alone. You’re not unfriendly, but you do find more meaning in one-on-one connections than large gatherings.'' [quoted]

Now I don't feel guilty.Yes.Embrace your nature.Now, who feels the same?